When you’re newly married you may find yourself clueless over how to bond with a person who is still very new for you. The best advice i’d give to any newly married , and that worked for me is to be accommodating. I know, it might seem strange. why accommodating? why not loving, respecting, etc etc. Well, the reason is that when you get married to someone, even if it is an arranged marriage(which is the case for most of us, because parents know the best), there is some bit of love and attachment involved, and you grow up on that love over time. So, when you are accommodating , and actually READ your spouse, you are better able to understand what triggers their mood change, what makes them happy . Also, when you are accommodating with your hubby, he is going to feel more at ease with you and would , genuinely, admire you.
now, the second thing; Show gratitude and be thankful for the small things. I know it is a man’s duty to provide his wife with the necessities of life and to fulfill her desires. But it makes him happy to no end when his beloved wife acknowledges the effort he does for her. I discovered thhis golden tip by chance. I have always had a habit of being thankful to people when they do me a favor. With my husband, it was no different. And one day he confessed to me that he really loved it when i’d be thankful to him, it would make him feel as if he had succeeded in making me happy.
coming over the third tip: Never argue. i know it’s the most repeated cliched tip ever. But it’s true, if you want your marriage to flourish, NEVER ARGUE WITH YOUR HUSBAND.I know sometimes your hubby might really be truly on the wrong side, but just leave the topic/argument to some better time, when you won’t have to argue. Because, one thing i’ve lewarned is that if someone isn’t willing to change the way they see things, argument is the worst attemptto change their mindset.
so, that’s it for the day
life after marriage could be completely different. For many people it is a wonderland, and for many horror land. But whatever the case, you do learn to settle in the new life….after a few weeks, after a month, or months.
But the real horror starts when your hubby leaves for work, and then you do the chores, make the dinner….and that’s it! nothing more to do. and ahead of you is a huge day like a towering building over your head. huh! horrible! i know it feels terrible because that’s how i felt and i truly relate to the feeling. so, the first few weeks of settling into practical life, when i had no idea what to do… i would end up spending my day sleeping, watching the telly (completely mindlessly), snacking and a lot more snacking, and wasting time on Instagram. And at the end of the day i’d feel really empty for being so not productive. And then one bright day, i thought to myself “i can’t let my life be like this”. And well, with a bit of commitment and dedication i was able to change the course of my life and also save my sanity.
so here are some of my tips for not getting crazy while home alone;
- Have a routine; i know it’s pretty cliche but crafting a routine that works for you is a real game changer.
- create a list of things you would love to do in your free time i.e. gardening, bird keeping, painting etc. Now on a separate page create a daily time table and find time when you are free. And you know what to do…. fill out your free time with the things you would love to do.
- We all should be learners. Though process of learning could be tedious, the sense of accomplishment is worth every minute of effort. My personal favorites for learning are Coursera , Udemy , Skillshare, Craftsy, and DailyBitsOf. You could take degree courses, personal development course , crafts course. And i believe it’s the best use of free time.
- Incorporate spirituality in your life. Take out some time to daily recite the Quran, do dhikr, and read Islamic blogs. My personal favorite is Productive Muslim and Sisters magazine.
- After marriage a lot of us tend to settle in our comfort zone and really forget what it used to feel like taking care ourselves. So get into the habit of doing Yoga and workout at least three times a week. I really like Pop sugar workouts and Tara Stiles Yoga, and i usually download the ones that suit me. In the evenings i’d roll out my Yoga mat, and turn the video on and after 15 minutes of workout i feel rejuvenated. Also, on a weekly basis do full body exfoliation: lemon- sugar-oil concoction is a great option. Give your hair a hot oil massage, trim and file your nails, and apply a brightening face mask. And you’ll be shining like Gold everyday.
- Experiment new recipes and expand your cooking skills. The saying, “The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through His Stomach” is TOTALLY TRUE.Believe me it’s going to be a great investment for your relation.
- Start a blog. A blog is a great way to expand your writing skills, share tit bits of life, and you never know your blog might become a source of income for you.
- Write article for magazines.
- Start giving online tuition. nowadays, with Skype and an internet connection, you can easily give intuitions at your ease, and it’s a smart source of income as well.
So, these were some of my tips to stay busy while at home. How do you stay busy as a DSAHW? would love to know.
Welcome to a new segment “diary of a Desi stay at home housewife(DSAHW)” on my blog. Here I’m going to let you in the life of a young DSAHW- that is me. There are Going to be stories of blunders, tidbits on relationship, advice on staying productive as a DSAHW, and much more.
the reason i’ve decided to start this segment is because I want to grow and Excel as a DSAHW, and I want to share my journey with you.
Also, you are going to see this segment a lot more than others because this is my number one priority, and I enjoy writing about my journey- all with it’s highs and lows.
So, I’ll catch you there…later.
We fall in love all the time with almost all the things. But you know what’s difficult? Learning to love yourself for who you are; to love each and every flaw that makes you special.
Welcome to the very first post of eatcreatelove .
Although I could have written something under “eat”or “create”, but I chose love. Why? Not because I am some infatuated teenager, but because I think that love is such a vast term that we just can’t restrict it to teenage romance. To me love is about loving yourself, loving your home. For me love is that magic wand that lightens up every aspect of your life. Show love to yourself and you’ll grow as a confident, stable person. Show love to your relationships and you’ll see them flourish. Show love to your body and you’ll achieve your perfect weight(that’s for me guys). Show love to your skin and it’ll glow.
So today I’ll let you in my story. I’ve struggled for years to accept myself as I am, and to truly acknowledge my abilities. And when I started to consciously make peace with my body , my looks , my personality it was only then that I , literally, bloomed.
In our minds we all are comparing ourselves to the standards of the perfect features, the ideal body, the exceptional IQ level. What this does is, it turns our inner critic on and as long it stays with you ,you remain entrapped in the vicious cycle of comparison, criticism, self-pity, inferiority complex. And as long as we stay in this cycle we are never able to truly reach our potential to truly become what we are capable of being.
When I was younger I always had weight issues(which I still do, but now I’ve learnt to manage it),then there was always the academic pressure, the fear of failure. I suffered from anxiety for not being able to get good marks. I’d envy the tall thin girls in my school, and I’d envy the straight-haired girls, and I’d envy the class topper, and the list goes on.
In my mind I was a failure because I wasn’t a class topper, because I wasn’t tall and thin, because my mental math was weak, because my hair weren’t straight….
Looking back at my old self I couldn’t help but laugh be cause I wasn’t a failure , I just didn’t love myself, didn’t accept myself , and didn’t appreciate myself. It was true that I wasn’t a class topper but I was among the top three position holders, my hair aren’t straight but I’ve learnt to love their soft, cotton candy appeal. I ‘m not tall and thin but I’ve learnt to appreciate my body for its flexibility in yoga. Yes, my cheeks are chubby but I’ve learnt to love the way they light up when I smile.
But one of the most important lessons that I’ve learnt in my journey to self-love and self acceptance is that when you accept your flaws, Or what you think are your flaws, you become much more capable of improving in it. For instance, when I accepted that I’d weight issues that I can’t be tall and thin I decided to manage my weight and become more flexible and supple. It wasn’t easy to give up sugar, and though it was temporary, it was the beast decision I made. I also taught myself yoga to achieve a graceful figure.
It was the same with my hair ;when I accepted and started loving my curls I got motivated to concoct masks that would enhance my hair’s natural texture.
So, go love yourself, and see yourself lighten up.
Welcome to another post of eatcreatelove. I know ” marriage” might not seem fitting under ” create”…. But believe me, it’s the greatest, twisted, complex, most beautiful thing you are ever going to create in Life.
And I’m no pro on it…and I don’t think anyone can be, because in marriage everyday is a new day, new lesson, new reflection. And as far as I’m concerned.. I’ve just stepped in marriage. But yes I’ve been reading, googling, experiencing, and learning. So, I thought, hey! Why not share my two cents on ” creating love in marriage”.
Firstly, I know I shouldn’t be starting with the negative, but sorry for breaking your bubble, but marriage is no fairytale. Initially, you may find yourself on cloud9 … But soon you realize that abhi ishq ke imtehan aur bhi Hain ( there are more challenges of love). When you can’t stand your Love’s crazy habits, when you find that there’s no space in the wardrobe for your clothes, and the most complex, when you find understanding your better half’s mood and attitude the most difficult thing in world…. That’s when you are thrown into reality.
So how is it that you create love in marriage when you are squirming inside from confusion, and 100000 more emotions…
To be continued…
Are you a busy duckling?are you a hard-working student with zero time for spa day? Or are you a young housewife with a tower of responsibilities taller than your height?
In short, are you someone who doesn’t have much time for self care, but would love to get some pampering done. Well, I present to you “pamper Hour”. This is my way of looking my best and, feeling my best, while using minimum time and supplies.
So, here’s how my “pamper Hour” goes on, so get inspired, and feel free to modify it according to your mood, and whatever you have on hand.
Let’s get started
Firstly, get your supplies together. So, to give you an idea, you can have Mani, pedi, cleansing, scrubbing, oiling, shaving, moisturizing.
To get all of the above done, you could use the products of your choice.
I like to start off with a hot coconut oil hair massage, this usually takes me 10 minutes. After this I proceed on to massaging my face and body, which takes me another ten minutes. I pay special attention to my hands and feet. Once, I’done with the massage, I would cleanse the oil with damp cotton ball.
Now with my remaining supplies, I’d hop into the shower. I’d shampoo my hair, then apply a face mask. My personal favorite is ubtan, that I would use with yogurt or rosewater. While the mask works it magic, I would soak my feet in warm water, and do some body scrubbing with the tried and tested concoction of honey-lemon-sugar. I let it sit on for five minutes, while I file my nails. Proceeding on to getting fuzz free, and then exfoliation with body wash and exfoliating glove.
I end my pamper Hour with moisturization.
I hope you all get inspired to take out an hour for yourself to pamper yourself. Let me know how many of you tried it, and how did it go.
Take care peeps.